1. Memoirs of “?”: Entry I
I just did a memoir about my life. Andy just passed away and I feel I should leave some sort of reminiscent vibe for my family and friends. I love the fact that I’m leaving some sort of cryptic message. Especially because of the fact that I am so overlooked now. Seeing all the art that I view and reminiscing on the art that I did see, made me feel special that I was able to. I had got arrested 8 months prior to this memoir. Yes, I really did spray paint a cop car. At least I didn’t get beat down. The cops actually thought it was funny. What wasn’t funny, was my friends dying rapidly around this time from GRID. That’s what they are calling it. Ed Koch isn’t doing anything. As usual. I even touch on meeting and finally speaking to Toni Schafrazi. He gave me a great riddle to solve. I didn’t solve it but at least he inspired me. Now I feel I’m the best. MauSe.
2. Union Square
My dad had just kicked me out. I only had a pair of black converse, a jacket, jeans, shades and white T-Shirt. The summer of 1983. Ill never forget it. At first I was scared but I spent my last money on spray cans and was brave. I had big dreams of making it big in the art world but didn’t know how so I just sprayed on walls, trains, floors etc. Everywhere. I sold my work that I did on canvases for food. Cops were looking for me a lot because of my brash markings. But I didn’t care. I was alone & it excited me. The best times of my life were the two years I spent in Union Square.
3. Hulk Hogan & Crack
Crack was very prevalent in my old neighborhood in The Bronx. People were selling everything for crack. Jewelry, food, children, their own bodies etc. I had my eyes on the prize however. I wanted to display my art everywhere, So I stayed away. I was however fascinated by the drug dealers who sold it & surprisingly, wrestling excited me too. I loved Hulk Hogan & Andre the Giant! They were my favorites. Rope Chains & Walk man’s were also popular & I had both! I used to listen to Run DMC all day on it… till the tape popped. One day, as I sprayed in an abandoned building, I saw a girl smoke crack for the 1st time. I was traumatized. So much so, I got chased by a security guard, whom I didn’t see. Luckily I was quick enough to get on my bike & flee. But that image stayed in my mind forever. MauSe.
I’m in the hospital bed right now. Drowsy and not able to remember a lot. I do recall however, being at MSG spraying “Are The Knicks ever gonna win?”. We got Bernard King, Patrick Ewing & Kenny Walker! What’s the hold up? My boy Buddy showed me a white substance he liked to call Chalk. He sniffed it right in front of me! I was in awe that he was addicted and hooked on this stuff. I tried some and loved it as well. We partied at Paradise Garage a lot & tons of stars would come and revel with us. I remember sniffing out of a rolled up 100 dollar bill. Haha that was fun. I started using it daily and became in addicted to it. Thank god Fab 5 Freddy, came to get me in that hotel room. I almost overdosed. Now I’m here hallucinating in this hospital bed trying to recover. Funny thing is, I barely drew with chalk in an art aspect.
5. Dreams Of Money
After seeing a series of Haring drawings of a man with money on his mind that had people drawn to it, then having an exploding head in the next panel with people running from it, I figured, I’d call that painting of his Dreams of Money. I hadn’t met Keith yet but I knew of him. I was very poor at this time still. Trying to make a living. I’d paint bullshit question phrases on canvases & sell them for like 50 bucks just to survive for the week. But I always dreamed of having tons of money. I even dreamed one time of a woman leaving money in my bag. Visions of a real Mickey Mouse head appeared as well scrolling words and cartoon images of Scrooge Mcduck. Trippy if I do say so myself… Then I woke up…
6. The Factory
Finally, I had caught a break! I ran into Andy Warhol by chance in Union Square and he loved my sarcastic writing. He invited me to his now defunct Factory. I was there interning & living. I worked on so much and was able to learn and grow there as an artist. Without his tutelage and the assistance of the other people he was around, I wouldn’t be here today. I remember seeing Basquiat just randomly drawing SAMO on the walls, models getting their pictures taken and sculptors in the corner creating masterpieces. Clones tried to stop by and take part but we could spot those guys easily. My art was becoming duplicated a lot. So Keith & Andy pulled me to the side to tell me to become a bit more advanced. So I did just that. This was life to me… MauSe.
7. Memoirs of “?”: Entry II - Warhol Interview
Andy was so inspiring for me. So when he asked to do this Interview with me, I was flattered. We talked about a wide range of topics From photography, to walk-man’s and even him not wanting to see my artwork. He was always sly and sarcastic with his dry humor. But I loved it and him. He taught me so much when it came to art & I will forever be grateful for that. I’m still in shock that Liza Minnelli was his favorite person to paint. I don’t and won’t believe it.
Andy had reached out to some folk overseas and he suggested my name to one of the buyers. Mind you, up until I got to the factory, I was more into spray painting. When I met with Andy, Keith, Kenny Scarf, etc, I got more into canvas work. My horizons had expanded a bit and I was able to now work on a more sophisticated level. I began noticing that people were somehow paying attention to what I was doing in NYC & it trickled over into Europe & Asia. I was extremely overwhelmed by the love I received because It was hard trying to gain that in the states. Family members were now sending me letters and trying to be my best friends. I had packed my Nintendo to pass the time when things slowed down. Zelda by far, is the hardest game ever. Super Mario Bros. though is my favorite game. I defeated that game while in Asia working on a temple. My fondest memory is eating a tuna fish sandwich while watching the sunset near the Jihad River. MauSe.
Daisy and I met at The Factory. She was one of the many models being photographed and constantly interviewed. She was phenomenal. Tall, and somewhat proportioned. We dated for a while and kind of grew fond of each other. I hadn’t been with a woman before her, so it was all new to me. I had lost my virginity to her, which was interesting to say the least. I had enough money saved that I got us a nice cozy place on 5th street. We had so much fun there. One day I saw her flirting with a photographer & I lost it. That explains why we aren’t together. We had a very bad fight. So bad that… That it feels like she ripped my heart out of my chest… I miss her. Still…
10. 3rd 3y3
Ronald Reagan is the president and frankly me & my friends don’t particularly agree with his political policies. The trickle down effect of Reaganomics has left urban communities all across the nation in despair. Crack, Violence, AIDS, Prostitution & Poverty are the top 5 detriments to our lifestyles. We have a burgeoning sub-culture growing in Hip Hop but besides that and my own addiction of graffiti, there is really no place to turn. I feel the government has definitely plotted against the urban community to deflate the dreams of young impressionable colored men & women. God bless us all. MauSe.
11. Memoirs of “?”: Entry III
I love doing memoirs. The last one I did today reflects on my childhood in the Bronx. Tormenting my parents with my exploits because of what my uncle showed me. I was a daredevil. A kid with no fear. I chose to speak my mind via art and I got it across. Sometimes to my own destruction, but it all aided in the development of who I am today. Remembering that time and hearing about Theresa however was gut-wrenching. I had seen her later that week and she was pawning her dishes. Crack had turned my neighborhood into a zombie-like infested world. I promised myself it would be the last time coming around.
After making that decision, I decided to have an extensive flashback session with myself. I found myself, recalling all kinds of memories. Seeing whole train cars with paint on them. Inspiring… Having no friends but being able to have admirers. Inspiring… Realizing that school was remedial for me in the short term aspect of Life. Inspiring… Making a mark on society while being homeless, hungry and contemplating suicide. Inspiring… Through it all, I lived by a specific mantra that holds fast to me till this day. “My eyes can not remember, the things that are so familiar. The choices in life are difficult, but it leads to memorabilia.” They are powerful words because it teaches me not to dwell on the bad choices I made, but to stand tall about every choice I make & continue to make the best of it. Inspiring… MauSe.
13. Mickey MauSe
I began partying a lot for some reason and at first it was fun, then one day after some using some chalk something kind of hit me. I went into a delusional kind of state where everything kind of moved slow around me but I could feel everything as if it didn’t. I haven’t felt it since. But during that time I realized that life is more than being extravagant. Its about helping one another. Afterwards I would continue to party and become promiscuous. Daisy & I had already broken up and I needed some sort of relief from that debacle. Women, Chalk & Alcohol were all I knew. They were also all I indulged in. Enter photography. MauSe.
14. Taking Pictures Of Girls Naked
Last night was incredible! Hard to even write this out. After a normal night out last week, I had met Jackie. She was Caucasian, tall and shapely. We had an in-house dinner date that week. She brought over alcohol, even though I told her to bring over some wine. One thing led to another and she began stripping. I was blown away and I decided to capture her on film. I had a wonderful time indulging myself that day. It was great. She came over the next day when I awoke with two of her friends and we had an amazing experience. Of course I filmed all of it on my Polaroid camera. One of the many evenings with her. I enjoyed these nights. For how long though? Not very long…
15. The Art Of Death
Today is one of the worst days of my life. The sudden death of Basquiat and my own impending secret has been told to me by my doctor. I have contracted H.I.V… I know I am not homosexual. I have not engaged in anything remotely close to that kind of lifestyle. However, I have heard about one of Jackie’s friends sleeping around with different guys and using all kinds of needles. I should have protected myself better. I have been utterly depressed. Keith himself just let it be known he contracted the virus. I was distraught and didn’t know what to do when I found out about him. Now that itß me, I’m in a state of depression. I stayed to alone a lot. I kind of just prayed and took care of myself. I chose obscurity because I didn’t know how to approach this situation. It was very hard on my parents. Everyone believed I was homosexual. No-one wanted to be around me, talk to me or even touch me. Oh, the ignorance of us humans. I just wanted to enjoy life.
Last night was fun! I was around people who didn’t care about my illness. It was great to party with mature people. It let’s me know that even though death may seem to be knocking at my door, I’m able to open another door and sellebrate the way I want to. Drinks & Dancing. A girl recognized me and asked me to draw on her. I wrote “Are you old enough 2 be here?” It was great Haha. I saw some of my friends from the Decepticons out in Brooklyn. I even met with Jackie and she told me she had contracted H.I.V. as well. We decided to be a couple as of that day and fight the disease from that day forth.
17. Memoirs of “?”: Entry IV
I’ve accepted what I am. I admit I drink a little too much, but I have a good reason. Trying to cope with bad news. I went to a Michael Jackson concert the other day. Fantastic. Amazing. Overwhelming. He has to continue this meteoric rise. Its like nothing I’ve ever seen. I hope he can maintain his sanity in the public eye. I tried and failed. Prayers for you though Michael.
18. The Arts (Avant Garde)
I did so much today. That’s all I can say. MauSe.
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